The Courage of Grief

This concept is especially true in the early days of loss, when even the smallest tasks feel monumental. Yet, it’s in these moments of vulnerability that I’ve discovered the importance of being true to myself and embracing the love I still carry.

Transparency in the Face of Loss

One day early in my grieving process, I simply didn’t have the energy to do the hair and makeup thing. I had promised myself as part of my healing process that I would go out every day, even if it was just to the grocery store. As a counselor, I knew that maintaining a routine, even a simple one, was important. So, I went out, presenting myself as I truly was that day.

When I drove through my regular place for lunch, the woman at the window recognized me and asked if I was okay. She knew about Bob, so I just said, “I will be.” I didn’t want to hold up her line, and I was doing everything I could to hold it together. I couldn’t talk in that moment without breaking down. Yet, as I drove away, I realized something profound: every day since Bob moved to Heaven had been rough, and that day was no different. But for the first time, I presented my true, transparent self. And that’s a good thing.

Embracing Your Authentic Self

In the past, I might have tried to put on a brave face to keep up appearances. But I’m learning that transparency is not a weakness; it's actually a good thing. Bob loved me for exactly who I was, and that’s the person the world will now see. Presenting my true self — even on the days when I’m struggling — honors the love we shared. It reminds me that healing doesn’t require perfection; it requires authenticity.

The Role of Routine

One of the tools that has helped me navigate grief is committing to small, daily routines. Getting out of the house, interacting with others, and engaging with the world — even in the smallest ways — have been essential steps in my healing journey. These routines don’t erase the pain, but they create a foundation for rebuilding a life that feels meaningful, even in the midst of loss.

There is strength in showing up, even when it feels impossible. Every time you step out into the world, you’re choosing courage over despair. It’s not about pretending everything is okay; it’s about acknowledging that things are not okay — but you’re still here, still trying, and still moving forward.

Final Thoughts

Grief requires an extraordinary amount of courage. It’s the courage to face the world when your heart is broken, to seek connection when you feel isolated, and to work toward healing even when it feels impossible. Transparency and authenticity are not only acts of self-care but also acts of honoring the love you still carry.

To anyone grieving, know that it’s okay to have days when you don’t feel strong. Even on those days, simply showing up is a victory. And remember, the love you carry is not diminished by your struggles. It’s what gives you the strength to keep going, one day at a time.